


Adopt-A-Thon

by Kannika



Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Conner Adopting Everything, Kaldur Doesn't Get Paid Enough for This, Team Bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-09
Updated: 2019-05-09
Packaged: 2020-02-28 18:03:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18761581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kannika/pseuds/Kannika
Summary: “Who in the hell,” Artemis says with deliberate slowness, taking in the situation in front of them and her shocked teammates at her side, because she is definitely blaming them for this, “Told M’gann and Conner about ‘no-kill shelters’ and what that implies?”





	Adopt-A-Thon

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a while since I posted something silly. I love this team and all the craziness that superpowered teenagers/aliens can get into. Endless potential. 10/10. Forget the plot and intrigue, just give me the team being silly and driving the adults up the wall.

When Artemis comes to the cave with Kaldur, Wally, and Robin at her side, the first thing she notices is the smell of fur. Much, much stronger than just Wolf’s fur. It smells kind of like he’s been rolling around in front of the zeta tube the whole day they’ve been gone.

Then the zeta light clears, and she sees all of the animals.

M’gann brightens, and holds up the cat in her hands. There are six more at her feet- and a lot more than that scattered around them. “Look what we got!”

There is only one explanation.

“Who in the hell,” Artemis says with deliberate slowness, taking in the situation in front of them and her shocked teammates at her side, because she is definitely blaming them for this, “Told M’gann and Conner about ‘no-kill shelters’ and what that implies?”

Wally shifts nervously next to her, and she whips her glare over to him- he shrinks back, which means she’s not alone. “I-I think it was Zatanna!”

“Liar!”

Kaldur sneezes and takes a careful step forward. “Um, M’gann? What is going on with- with-“ It’s one of the first times she’s seen him speechless. He just gestures around them with a hand at the general chaos. 

“We adopted them.” Conner says. 

Artemis jumps- where the hell even is he? It takes her a moment before she spots him on the couch, and… and she really wants a camera. She hadn’t noticed Conner at first because he is buried beneath Wolf, a Saint Bernard, two German shepherds, and somewhere between five and seven golden retriever puppies. They’re all asleep and he’s confined to the couch but wearing a smug smile that says he’s never moving again.

It’s almost a shame they’re going to have to get rid of most of these, because she wants a blanket of dogs too. That’s a life she wants to live.

Kaldur sighs. “How many did you adopt?”

“All of them!” M’gann says, sounding offended, and she scoops up two kittens in her arms and cuddles them to her neck. She’s grinning so broadly Artemis envisions sparkles coming off of her. “They were free and the people at the shelter were really nice and helpful and gave us everything we needed for them. Aren’t they adorable?”

Robin is trying very, very desperately not to laugh. Maybe it’s his fault, then. Maybe he’s envisioning Batman’s face when he comes in for the next mission briefing. 

“M’gann.” Kaldur says in a tight, ‘trying-to-be-professional’ tone that means he’s on the edge of breaking down. “Yes, they are adorable, but…” He sneezes again, and swipes at his nose and eyes quickly with the back of his arm. “You can’t just adopt this many animals. They take work.”

“We know.” Conner calls. “We’ll take care of it. Don’t worry.”

“We live here after all!” M’gann giggles and swoops over to scoop up a kitten that’s climbed onto the stove and deposit it safely on the ground. “We can handle it! It’ll be fun!”

Kaldur sneezes again. This one visibly rocks him forward and backward, and he blinks eyes that are suspiciously red. 

“Are you allergic?” Wally asks in concern. 

“It appears-“ Kaldur sniffs and tries to compose himself. “-That I am.”

That gets Conner’s attention- she can barely see his eyes over the top of the couch, but he looks a little guilty. “You aren’t allergic to Wolf, though.”

“Dogs and wolves are related, but activate different allergies.” Wally says. _Nerd,_ she’s going to tease him mercilessly with later. “Plus there are cats. He might be allergic to cats.”

_“Regardless,”_ Kaldur says firmly. “It simply isn’t possible to take care of this many animals. You’re going to have to take them back.”

“No!” M’gann looks horrified. “You didn’t see where we got them from! It was tiny and it smelled like mold! They can’t go back!”

“And it wasn’t a no-kill shelter.” Conner adds, like that finishes the argument in his mind. Artemis suspects he’d be angrier if he wasn’t currently surrounded by every animal in there and sounding like he could fall asleep at any moment. She needs to get in on that blanket-of-dogs therapy. Right now, though, there’s a kitten with bright green eyes and sleek black fur that’s tearing holes in her leg trying to get her attention, and that’s a close second. She picks her up.

Kaldur gives Wally a betrayed look.

“It wasn’t me! It was Rob!”

Robin is wheezing in the corner. Between that and everything being given for free, odds are looking pretty good Wally is innocent. She doesn’t feel like rescuing him yet, though. A while longer. 

The cave door opens. Several animals sprint for the sunshine and freedom and M’gann and Robin both attempt to block their path. 

“We’re back from shopping!” Raquel calls, rounding the corner with Zatanna. “What’s going on in he- OH MY GOD PUPPIES!”

Zatanna gives a wordless squeal and dives forward for the nearest kitten, which is black and white and looks like it’s wearing a tuxedo that matches hers.

“We got them today! Aren’t they adorable?” M’gann says for what must be the millionth time, still beaming.

“They’re going back.” Kaldur says with as much authority as he can muster while he looks like he’s about to burst into tears. 

“NO!”

Now there’s four of them chorusing it. 

Artemis secretly adds her voice, too. She’s going to call the kitten in her arms Jade. Her sister will hate it and that makes the fit all the more perfect.

* * *

Two hours later, and Artemis is ashamed to say that they’ve made no headway on getting M’gann and Conner to give back the animals they adopted. In fact… she’s about to just take a few of them for herself. She’s pretty sure almost everyone is. Except Kaldur. Who looks like he wants to die.

And then, it happens.

Batman comes through the zeta and halts abruptly at the edge of the room. 

His eyes narrow. 

“M’gann and Conner found a shelter.” Artemis starts. It’s hard to sound professional for a report to your boss when the scenario is… this. “And we’re trying to-“

“Dude!” Robin cackles from the kitchen. “Wally, get over here! This one just jumped six feet and ow-ow-ow-ow-“ A kitten appears on his shoulder, claws digging into his jacket, and Robin shows him off proudly. “He’s a regular acrobat! I bet I could teach him to jump through a hoop if we got some fish!”

“I got it!” Wally calls, and is gone in an instant. 

Kaldur pinches the bridge of his nose between his watering eyes and takes deep, calming breaths. 

It is the first time in Artemis’ life she can honestly say she saw Batman flee.


End file.
